Many families notice the same pattern every week. The weekend is going well, but by Sunday evening, everything changes. A child who seemed happy all weekend may suddenly become quiet, tearful, irritable, or complain of a stomachache or headache.
These “Sunday Scaries” are common, but they should not be ignored. While it’s normal for children to feel nervous about returning to school after a weekend or holiday, ongoing anxiety can affect a child’s health, learning and relationships.
Anxiety and other mental health concerns are an important part of a child’s overall health and should be addressed when they begin interfering with daily life.
The good news is that children can learn healthy ways to manage anxious feelings and return to school with greater confidence.
What are the “Sunday Scaries?”
For children, the “Sunday Scaries” are feelings of worry or fear that begin before the school week starts. These feelings often build on Sunday evening and may feel strongest Monday morning.
Children may worry about schoolwork, tests, friendships, bullying or simply being away from home. As these worries grow, the body’s stress response can create physical symptoms.
This is why many children report headaches, stomachaches, nausea or feeling sick before school. These symptoms are real, even when there is no underlying illness causing them.
Anxiety can affect both emotional and physical health, including sleep, concentration and daily activities.
Signs Your Child May Have School Anxiety
School anxiety looks different for every child, but common warning signs include:
- Frequent headaches or stomachaches before school
- Trouble sleeping on Sunday nights
- Crying or refusing to get ready for school
- Asking for constant reassurance
- Becoming unusually clingy
- Changes in mood, appetite or energy
- Avoiding activities they usually enjoy
Occasional nervousness is expected. However, if these behaviors happen every week or begin interfering with your child’s daily life, it’s time to take a closer look.
Why Does School Anxiety Happen?
There is rarely one single cause of school anxiety. Instead, several factors may work together.
Some children struggle with social situations. They may worry about fitting in, speaking in class or being embarrassed in front of classmates. Others may be dealing with bullying or conflict with peers.
Academic pressure is another common cause. Children with learning differences, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or perfectionist tendencies may feel overwhelmed by homework, tests or classroom expectations.
Life changes can also increase anxiety. A recent move, divorce, loss of a loved one or another major family change may make it harder for a child to feel secure and comfortable at school. Other published risk factors that can increase anxiety in children include parental anxiety, low socioeconomic status, exposure to violence and trauma, and social media use.
Families looking for additional support can learn more through Stony Brook Medicine’s pediatric behavioral health resources.
When Anxiety Leads to School Avoidance
If school anxiety is not addressed, some children begin refusing to attend school. This is sometimes called school avoidance or school refusal.
School avoidance is different from skipping school. Children with school anxiety usually want to succeed and often wish they could attend without feeling afraid. Staying home may provide temporary relief, but it can also reinforce the idea that avoiding school is the best way to feel safe.
Early support and treatment can help children return to school and reduce anxiety before it becomes more difficult to manage.
How Parents Can Help
Parents play an important role in helping children manage anxiety. The goal is to support children, while also encouraging them to continue facing challenges and building confidence.
Start by acknowledging your child’s feelings. Instead of saying, “You’ll be fine,” try saying, “I can see you’re worried about tomorrow.” Feeling understood helps children feel less alone.
Next, keep routines predictable. Children with anxiety often do better when they know what to expect. Prepare backpacks, lunches and clothes the night before to reduce morning stress.
Keeping consistent routines and helping children prepare for the school week can reduce stress and make transitions feel more manageable.
Teach Simple Coping Skills
Simple coping strategies can help children manage anxious feelings.
One example is the 3-3-3 grounding exercise. Ask your child to:
- Name three things you can see.
- Name three things you can hear.
- Move three parts of your body, such as wiggling your toes or shrugging your shoulders.
Deep breathing, stretching and positive self-talk can also help children feel more in control when anxiety begins.
When to Seek Professional Help
If anxiety continues despite your efforts, or if your child refuses school for more than a week or two, it’s important to seek professional support.
A pediatrician or mental health professional can evaluate whether an anxiety disorder or another condition may be contributing to your child’s symptoms.
Children may benefit from treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based treatment that teaches children how to recognize anxious thoughts, challenge them and develop healthier coping strategies
Families can also start with their child’s primary care provider.
Some children may benefit from medication, particularly when anxiety is severe.
Medication is not the only treatment option, but for some children it can be an important part of a complete care plan.
A Positive Outlook
School anxiety can feel overwhelming for both children and parents, but it is highly treatable.
With patience, consistent routines, school support and professional care when needed, most children can learn to manage anxiety successfully.
If your child struggles every Sunday night or regularly resists going to school, pay attention to those signs. Early support can prevent anxiety from becoming a larger problem and help children develop healthy coping skills that benefit them for years to come.
The goal is not to eliminate every worry. Instead, it’s to help children build the confidence and resilience they need to face challenges, continue learning and thrive both inside and outside the classroom.
